Nonnegotiable Ultimatums

Posted March 9, 2007

A commentary by Renee Dean

What is not negotiable in your life?

I was listening to the radio as I was driving home the other night. The evening deejay on my favorite music station often has controversial call-up topics. This particular discussion was about a man who had given his girlfriend an ultimatum. She didn't like his dog. He gave her the choice to take him with his dog or not at all. The guy obviously felt so strongly about his dog that he was willing to put up a nonnegotiable ultimatum. He loved his dog more than his girlfriend!

This got me thinking about my own belief system, and I wondered if I could as easily put up my own ultimatum in a relationship. Have I in the past and do I now have nonnegotiable ultimatums in my life?

Of course I did and do. God's laws! But was I willing to stand up for them and use them? If this guy could give up something precious like his girlfriend for a dog, then I certainly hope I would be willing, if necessary to give up something for the most important love in my life—God.

We need to be clear in life about what our nonnegotiable ultimatums are. When we aren't clear about them, we risk making compromises with the standards that matter most. This can put our relationship with God on the rocks and blur our ultimate priorities.

So what should our nonnegotiables be? I thought about this, and it all came down to God's commandments. If we apply the Ten Commandments in our lives—and especially our relationships—we can easily make a list of what should be our ultimatums. If we are willing to compromise and negotiate on any of the Ten Commandments, then we are headed down a dangerous track.

God gives us His Ten Commandments as divine instructions by which to live our lives (Deuteronomy 5:7-21). Together with the rest of His instruction manual, the Bible, they are here to guide and assist us in our decisions. All of God's laws have profound meaning and purpose and will help us determine the true ultimatums in our lives.

It may be hard to give up something because it doesn't fit with our belief system. It will be challenging if we must give up an opportunity to excel at a sport, lose someone we are falling in love with or forfeit a great job opportunity because your nonnegotiables got in the road. But if we set up the true ultimatums early on and stick to them, then we will begin to see God working with us and guiding our lives. We have to have faith that He will bless us for sticking to our nonnegotiables.

You can get help establishing your life's ultimatums by downloading or requesting your own free copy of the booklet The Ten Commandments. Learning the true standard of God's laws will help ensure that you don't compromise your nonnegotiable ultimatums. VT