You Can Pick Your Friends

You must take seriously the personal responsibility of choosing the right friends. The good news is that with these guidelines, you can pick them!

by Randy Stiver

Imagine your first day in a new school in a new town. Your father drops you off near the entrance on his way to work. You know no one. You feel a little lonely, a little intimidated. Immediately you identify the usual social groups.

The athletes and popular girls laugh and joke as if they own the world. The long, black coats, clothes, badly dyed hair, tattoos and too many piercings mark the goths. The baggy trousers and shirts of the gangster crowd belie their sullen, semicriminal look; the girls attracted to them dress in spandex-outlined, flesh-flashing contrast.

Dark-rimmed glasses of the studious types slide down their noses as they struggle to carry small libraries of books into the school. The overly wide-eyed or bloodshot-red-eyed drug- and alcohol-inflamed rock star wannabes strut their spiked or grunge hairstyles and skintight, pretorn denim outfits for all to see. Whoa—this place is starting to look like where you just moved from!

The strange parade of school "friends" continues. Sprinkled among the crowd are even some regular-looking kids too—what a relief! Everyone tries so hard to fit in with some group. Your challenge is to pick a few new good friends from this modern menagerie.

God made us to have friends and be friends to others. He created the role of friendship itself and declared it a very good thing. "Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man's [woman's, boy's or girl's] friend gives delight by hearty counsel" (Proverbs 27:9). It truly is a pleasure to enjoy the company, camaraderie and counsel of a good friend.

A wise Australian grandmother once said: "Love all, trust few and paddle your own canoe." As followers of Jesus Christ we're commanded to love our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:39). Thus, we "love all." But close friends must be chosen carefully. Thus, we "trust few." Remember, God wants your friendships to be mutually beneficial—to build each other up.

To "paddle your own canoe" means you must take seriously the personal responsibility of choosing the right friends. The good news is that you can pick your friends! And with the guidelines listed below, you can pick the right ones. VT